marriage breakdown – joint mortgage?
Bymy friend has left his wife after 10 years of marriage a couple of months ago. to cut a long story short, he wasn’t happy anymore. she was very controlling in that she wanted all of his time to be spent with her – it was ok to socialise with her friends as a couple, but his friends were dropped and his visits to his family were rare (he’s from a close family, she isn’t). he woke up and realised one day that he didn’t want to be in that relationship anymore – he has been 100% honest with her and moved back in with his parents. she had never had much in her life before as her ex took everything and left her with nothing. my friend felt bad enough leaving so said that she can have all of the contents in the house and can have the house if she wants – he was happy to leave his name on the mortgage for the forseeable future as if he took it off, it would mean she would have to have new mortgage and theirs is so low at the moment it would be stupid to lose that deal. her credit was not that good so they had credit in his name and both agreed after the split that they would both pay it equally. anyway, since splitting, he’s been out for a drink with a girl (nothing serious but hes just trying to get a life back) and his ex has heard about it on the grapevine and reacted very badly to it, has now stopped paying her share of the debts. she knows that legally it’s in his name so there is nothing he can do about it. he’s a student as he started a 4 year course in september and has minimal income i.e. student loan and cannot afford to shoulder all of the payments of the debt – which she knows all too well.
she refuses to allow him access to the property so he can’t get a lot of his stuff. she has told her solicitor that she is scared of my friend (he’s not got a violent bone in his body and she knows that) and is looking to get an injunction against him. the income he has is so low that i can’t see the debt companies agreeing to the rate that he can afford to pay them back. she won’t sell the property and refuses to change the mortgage, so she’s living in the house with a low mortgage laughing while my friend is stuck with all their debts (a large chunk of them accumilated by her before they married, they consolidated them in his name). she will not negotiate and will not reason. other than going bankrupt to get is name off the mortgage, what can he do? what are his rights with regard to this..? he doesn’t live there, he doesn’t want the house, she can have it, he wants to be away from her now but she’s blocking him. he wants to sell up (no equity in house so no money in it, just to tie everything up and be gone from her) or have his name removed, she won’t do it. what next?? is he going to have this for the rest of his life?!?1
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5 Comments
October 27th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
He can request that the police accompany him to the house to gather his things.
He needs to consult a lawyer and file for divorce immediately. He needs the lawyer to file for an emergency sale order on the house.
She’s messing with him because he lets her. Just get a lawyer and get it done.
October 30th, 2009 at 9:04 am
he can get an attorney and the house and be sold since his name is on it too, or she can buy him out. he needs to put the house up for sale and maybe then she will agree to pay for it. she wants to keep him tied to her.
November 1st, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Get legal help now.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Depends on your country of residence and even if in the U.K different laws apply. A solicitor would really be your best option. If a student choose one that provides legal aid as not all of them do legal aid. For a rough guide CAB has some basic information that you may find useful but select the region if in the U.K. I have provided a link for England but just select another region if desired. Good luck.
Incidentally he can tell her that if she wants to be awkward about it he can force the sale of the house as this will help repay outstanding debts and this might make her see sense.
It may also be possible to sell his half of the property only to a housing association or through one of the latest government schemes. Just another thought.
November 8th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Although the house is in his name only, in most states it’s community property so they both get half when it is sold, which seems like the only and best option. A person’s credit history is so important not only to get better rates on everything that you buy on time, or to qualify for things, but it says a lot about who you are. Having a BK on your bureau or late payments tells everyone who sees it that you are untrustworthy and unreliable, which he doesn’t seem to be. If it were a debt accrued after the split, as long as he has proof of what day he moved out he is not responsible for it, but that is not the case. There will be nothing but manipulations ahead for him if he continues with the arrangement because any time that she doesn’t like something that he does, she’ll pull this stunt to control his actions. I think his only choice is to sell it asap.