Should I say something or keep quiet?
By
This is an ethical question:
I am helping my husband’s family rent a house. They don’t speak english and I don’t mind helping, however there is a moral dilemma for me. They (like most people) want to find a nice house in a decent neighborhood that’s spacious and clean, and for low rent. They have quickly criticized the size or ugly condition of homes we have seen, but they are also aware they can’t be TOO picky b/c they have no credit and shaky rental history so they cannot offer references, etc. They have been desperately searching and paying more than they can afford where they live currently. That said, although they would like the cheapest rent they can get, they are STILL looking for prices at and above their current rent which I know is killing them to pay. Besides that, they are somewhat dirty people who THINK they are “normal clean.” They either don’t realize how much they mess up a property they occupy and how unacceptable that is, or they do realize it but just don’t care. Their attitudes tend to indicate the latter. They have always said they don’t expect to receive their deposit when they leave. Besides this, there are a lot of people who would live in the house and they don’t disclose this entirely to potential landlords. The places they could actually afford are not that nice, but they don’t like them. Of course! So we go see where they would LIKE to live. Any of those property owners do not want their place messed up or a ton of people living there for obvious reasons. I know from seeing it that his family doesn’t give a rat’s @ss about how they keep the places where they rent, and that they have also seriously failed on rental payments or are regularly late or asking for extensions, OR they totally bail and leave the owner hanging. I don’t mind helping them to look for housing b/c of the language issue, but they ask me to meet the owners with them to translate, and the owners tend to be trusting my word, too. I know that no homeowner would have too good of an experience renting to them and the family WOULD mess up their place. They are on the verge of getting a place where the owner is super-duper watchful of the cleanliness, maintenance, and responsible payment of the renters, and I feel like I have a duty of ethics to tell her what she may be in for. She is upside down on her home value, can pay the difference b/w the rent she’s charging and her mortgage, and has financial problems of her own. She’s struggling yet being responsible, doesn’t want to lose her home due to flaky tenants, and has her home VERY well taken care of – nothing like the condition this family would leave it in! What should I do? Should I just keep my mouth shut? If I were to tell her, they would simply not get the place and would never know it was b/c I spoke to the owner. I’m the go-between as it is, so it would seem natural she gave me the answer. I am a homeowner as well and at a different socioeconomic/educational level than them. At the same time I want to help them, it bothers me that they are so unaware of what “troublesome tenants” they are; they somehow always make themselves the victims who weren’t given a break, or later congratulate themselves on what they got away with. All I know is I would want to be told instead of snowed and have someone F up my walls, floors, landscaping, litter my yard, and bail on the rent or always have excuses, etc. Do you know people like this? They make our lives so impossible! Again, H-E-L-P!
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8 Comments
May 20th, 2010 at 5:05 am
ok I stopped reading this about 1/2 way.. its too long
May 23rd, 2010 at 1:49 am
My advice – either steer them away from this particular situation or steer clear of this and just do the direct translation.
If you insist on helping suggest to the owner that she needs a “house rules” part of her lease that will spell out how she expects the property to be taken care of. Also, suggest she give them a “discount” if they obtain some sort of renters insurance, the kind that will cover if they do damage to the space not just their belongings. Make the family see this as a “good thing” and money saver.
You also could just talk to them like in a “story” about a couple you know who ended up being taken to court over a rental property getting all messed up and how terrible it turned out. What ever will scare them a bit.
May 26th, 2010 at 12:59 am
You have two responsibilities. The first is to yourself and your morals. The second is to your family. (They are your husband’s family so they are your family too.) You don’t have to compromise your morals and lie for your family. If you think they will be bad tenants, don’t co-sign for them or put yourself on the line. But don’t sabotage them either.
May 28th, 2010 at 6:50 am
Even though these renters are family-in-law, you shouldn’t have to lie or compromise your own ethics for them. Call the owner, explain that you were the interpreter but also want to be honest with her and give her your thoughts. You don’t have to go into detail, just let her know that these people tend to end up housing more people then was contracted for which will put extra wear and tear on the place, are not overly concerned with cleanliness and the fact that the place and all the appliances in it are someone else’s (the landlord’s), that in the past they’ve often had rent payment issues, etc. Give her a clearer picture of who these renters are, so she can make up her own mind. You aren’t saying she shouldn’t rent to them, just giving her and honest picture from which she can make up her own mind. Especially since the landlord is trying to do the right thing by renting to people who don’t have a good credit history and to which she may have problems communicating with. And that the landlord is already under financial strain–she doesn’t need a renter who isn’t going to make payments on time (she shouldn’t be expected to carry them, or to have to deal with any guilt about evicting them for non-payment). I know I’d want to konw this information. But doesn’t this landlord ask your people to fill out a rental application which includes the names and phone numbers of recent landlords, and employment history with contact numbers? The landlord should really be calling these references to find out if these people have had rent payment issues in the past and what kind of tenants they have been.
May 28th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Well, it seems to me that the big question here is whether or not you are MORE than just a mere translator for them.
In other words, if the homeowner has point-blank asked YOU if they are responsible tenants, it would be totally different than if you just simply translated what she said for them, and what they said for her, as a totally neutral third party… like Switzerland, if you will.
So, if you are going to have to vouch for them, like a “reference,” so to speak, then be perfectly honest and tell her what she’s in for, but, if you are merely a strictly neutral translator, then don’t. It’s a shame, but it’s not your problem, and, besides, if you tell her, then you’re in for yet MORE house-hunting with what sound like some truly awful people!
Sorry, I know they’re your relatives and all, but, gosh, they sound really horrible!
May 29th, 2010 at 10:03 pm
What a mess! I do have a few suggestions for you, though. First, you need to tell the potential landlords that you are not a rental agent and only there to help with language difficulties. Additionally, I think you should say that you are not in a position to vouch for the renters, and suggest that they contact previous and current landlords and the bank since you understand the renters have no references. Finally, I think you should say that they need to understand that you and your husband are not willing or able to assist in any way should there be any problems or misunderstandings or disagreements in future. In short, make it very clear that you are NOT there as anything but translator, and that they should make some phone calls. Good luck!
May 30th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
You are not responsible for these people’s housing. Period. Bail out of this. Completely. The fact that they have housing now tells me they’ve been living here long enough to figure things out on their own.
June 1st, 2010 at 12:04 pm
SOLUTION:
1) Stay out of this.
2) Stay out of this.
3) Stay out of this. (get my point?)
4) Suggest they find a bi-lingual realtor.
I feel for you because I was involved in almost the same thing. We all spoke English, but I was paying the realtor, security & first month’s rent, so I had to show up with my checkbook but felt terrible knowing that this person was going to be a bad tenant. I kept my mouth shut and let them finalize the deal without my input. I felt bad in front of the landlord because my presence “suggested” that I vouched for this renter. I will never do it again. That was years ago, the renter moved out, but I still feel bad and wouldn’t want to face the landlord even today because I know that my participation was wrong because it “suggested” my approval.
Stay true to your morals (and they match any decent person’s in a civilized society). Your inlaws are indecent and will use anybody (including you), so since there are so many of them and they are adults, let them fend for themselves or STAY WHERE THEY ARE. Stay out of this. Don’t interpret and if they demand to know why, then tell them why you don’t want to get involved. They know that they trash their apartments and place landlords in a bad financial situation. I know this because they can tell the difference between nice and not-so-nice places when they’re looking for a new place to live, right? When it’s to their advantage, all of a sudden they KNOW good from bad. Don’t worry that they’ll get mad at you either. Let the chips fall where they will. Just always be polite, calm, and tell them in a caring way that you’d love to help, but cannot and they’ll have to find another “interpreter” — they must know somebody else besides you.
God Bless You. I really wish you luck with this bunch.